Funny Garden Stuff
August 3rd 2006 01:57
Funny Garden Stuff
-inspired by Ainsle
The following garden related anecdotes, stories, and jokes are inspired by Ainsle. She knows my secret in this cyber-landscape
....
1. Prisoner Joke
A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife:
"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter:
"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter:
"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"
2. Adam and Eve
Question: Why did God create women?
Answer: God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
3. Hahaha...ewww!
The leaves of sundews are covered with prominent red-stalked hairs, which exude a sticky red droplet at the end. When an insect tries to feed on this droplet, it gets stuck, and its struggles cause more and more of the tentacles to bend towards it. The insect is finally smothered, and then digested by the leaf.
5. Nachzehrer
Germans believe that no flowers should be placed in the mouth of a corpse, because the dead man would chew on them and then become a 'Nachzehrer' who draws his relatives into the grave after him.
6. Curare Cruelty
This infamous poison from South America has two different sources. One is a liana vine, Chondodendron tomentosum, related to moonseed, a deadly wild plant found in the US which can be mistaken for wild grapes. The other vine is Strychnos guianensis. Other ingredients enhance the quality of the poison. Curare paralyzes the victim, starting with the limbs, until eventually the diaphragm is paralyzed and the victim cannot breathe. The mind remains alert throughout the whole process. My God!
Well that's about it for some corny and morbid humour. I have gardenaction to thank for the jokes and whacky facts. Peace.
-inspired by Ainsle
The following garden related anecdotes, stories, and jokes are inspired by Ainsle. She knows my secret in this cyber-landscape
....1. Prisoner Joke
A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife:
"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter:
"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold."
"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter:
"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"
2. Adam and Eve
Question: Why did God create women?
Answer: God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
sundew
The leaves of sundews are covered with prominent red-stalked hairs, which exude a sticky red droplet at the end. When an insect tries to feed on this droplet, it gets stuck, and its struggles cause more and more of the tentacles to bend towards it. The insect is finally smothered, and then digested by the leaf.
5. Nachzehrer
Germans believe that no flowers should be placed in the mouth of a corpse, because the dead man would chew on them and then become a 'Nachzehrer' who draws his relatives into the grave after him.
'The Nightmare' by Henri Fuseli (wikipedia)
This infamous poison from South America has two different sources. One is a liana vine, Chondodendron tomentosum, related to moonseed, a deadly wild plant found in the US which can be mistaken for wild grapes. The other vine is Strychnos guianensis. Other ingredients enhance the quality of the poison. Curare paralyzes the victim, starting with the limbs, until eventually the diaphragm is paralyzed and the victim cannot breathe. The mind remains alert throughout the whole process. My God!
Well that's about it for some corny and morbid humour. I have gardenaction to thank for the jokes and whacky facts. Peace.
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